


One Choice

by Marauder_Emaelyn



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: First War with Voldemort, Marauders Era (Harry Potter)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-25
Updated: 2020-04-25
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:27:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23832370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marauder_Emaelyn/pseuds/Marauder_Emaelyn
Summary: The war is taking its toll on everyone, especially the Marauders. Sirius takes a chance to see what the future may hold before making a choice that could alter the course of the war.
Kudos: 21





	One Choice

Sirius sat at the table in his flat, staring at the small, milky green potion in front of him. It was January 1, 1981, and Sirius was alone in the home the Marauders had bought together; that felt like a lifetime ago now.

_“I can’t,” Remus had said, softly, pained, when they came up with the idea._

_“Come on, Moony, It’s going to be the best!” Sirius said, a bit loud. Remus just shook his head. The four Marauders were sitting around in the empty common room late at night near the end of their seventh year at Hogwarts. Peter and James were sitting on the couch, while Remus was tucked into the corner of an armchair. Sirius had been laying on the rug in front of the fire, but was now sitting up, eyes shining in excitement._

_“Why shouldn’t the Marauders move into a flat together?” James asked, his voice a much more reasonable volume than Sirius’. “We’ve done everything together since we were twelve, I don’t want to lose that just yet.” Still, Remus refused to look up, and just shook his head again, helplessly._

_“Why, Remus?” Peter asked curiously. All three boys stared at Remus quietly for a few long moments._

_“My dad,” Remus practically whispered. “I don’t want to leave him alone.” A crease appeared between Sirius’ eyebrows._

_“But we just saw your dad in Hogsmeade two weeks ago. He was working. He seemed fine.”_

_“Yeah…” Remus trailed off, and didn’t continue. James got up off the couch and crossed to where Remus was sitting, crouching down beside him and putting a hand on his arm._

_“What’s really going on, mate?” Remus finally looked up at James; the helpless expression on his face and his curled up position made him seem small, but Sirius couldn’t help but notice the pride in his eyes. Suddenly, he realized exactly what Remus was about to say._

_“I couldn’t afford it.” He stated simply. James opened his mouth to protest, but Remus cut him off. “No, there’s no way I am moving in with you lot when I wouldn’t be able to help with rent. I cannot do that. It is bad enough staying with my dad, being a burden on him. We all know that no matter what my NEWT scores end up being, I will not be able to find decent work, if I can find any work at all. There is no way I am moving in with my mates without being able to help.” Sirius could feel the agitation at the thought of Remus ever being a burden bubbling up in his chest. The idea that they’d even care about that. He was about to say something when James spoke._

_“Please, Remy.” Sirius was surprised; he hadn’t heard James use a tone anything like it in years. He sounded condescending. If the looks on Remus and Peter’s faces were anything to go by, they were just as shocked._

_“Do you really expect us to be able to figure out the logistics of living in a flat in muggle London alone?” James continued. “I mean, even if we figure out muggle money enough to buy a place, I know nothing about electrity-”_

_“Electricity,” Remus corrected._

_“Yeah, that,” James said, sounding bored. “I’m pretty sure none of the three of us know how to use a muggle kitchen, or do anything without magic, which, if we’re in a muggle flat, we’ll have to use magic sparingly.” A reluctant smile was tugging at one corner of Remus’ mouth, so Sirius joined in._

_“And what about telly visions? I want to have one, obviously, but how do they work?” Sirius didn’t mention the fact that he’d actually worked out how to use the telly the summer after he first started taking muggle studies._

_“Aren’t there a bunch of different muggles you have to pay money to, when you live in a muggle flat?” Peter added, sounding very unsure. Remus let out a soft chuckle._

_“No, actually,” he replied, and Peter looked relieved. “If we are just getting a flat in the city, we pay rent to the building owner, and they figure out all the rest of it for us. They pay the water bill, and the electricity bill, and the gas bill, if there is gas heating.”_

_“See, this is the kind of stuff we’d never figure out without you,” James said, sounding as if he’d just settled the argument. Remus tugged on the ends of his sleeves._

_“It doesn’t change anything, though,” he said softly._

_“You’re right.” Everyone looked at Sirius, and he was pretty sure James was about to throw a fist -- or a spell, he wasn’t sure which. “It doesn’t change anything about the fact that we all want to live together after Hogwarts. Neither does whatever job you get, or even a lack thereof.”_

_“But--”_

_“The only thing that should matter with our moving into a flat is that we’ll be together, and making a mess of things, and learning, and having our home. Bugger all the rest.” Peter was nodding emphatically to Sirius’ mini speech. Remus was looking down at his hands again, and James was grinning._

_“Devil’s in the details, Moony,” James said softly._

_“Besides, I want to blow what money I’ve left from my family as fast as possible.” Remus rolled his eyes at that._

_“You are not just going to blow money because it came from the Blacks, Sirius.”_

_Well, then,” Sirius gave Remus a sly grin. “You’ll just have to come with us and stop me from making bad financial decisions.”_

Their flat was quiet now; nothing like the lively hub that their lives had centered around three years ago. James had moved out before they’d been there a full year, instead moving in with his brand new wife. Peter had moved back home to help his mother out just a few months ago, so it was just Remus and Sirius left. If you could even say that Remus still lived here. The war was taking its toll on the marauders, it was obvious even from the outside. Peter was even more nervous than he used to be; more withdrawn. Sirius was getting paranoid, scared for the safety of his adoptive family. James and Lily were tired, anxious, willing to do anything to protect the young boy they’d brought into this world just five months ago. Remus was… well, it was hard to judge how Remus was. He was more tight lipped than he’d been since first year, and he was never really around at all anymore. When he was around, the bags under his eyes and the jumpers that hung much too loosely off his frame told of his struggles. And that’s all that told them, because Remus wasn’t talking about it. He was hardly talking about anything. Most times when he left he didn’t bother announcing he was leaving, and when he returned the best answer for his whereabouts Sirius could get was “On assignment for Dumbledore”. Sirius practically had to drag him to see the Potter’s, before he stopped trying. Remus never spent long around Harry, often hiding in the kitchen or Lily’s study when he was there. Lily would often follow him, but Sirius never knew what they talked about. He tried to focus on spending time with his godson, but his worries about Remus never really went away.

_“Haven’t you noticed he’s been acting strange?” Peter asked, voice low. They were sitting inside the Leaky Cauldron, catching up and having a drink. Sirius didn’t reply. “I mean, I know James said we shouldn’t worry, and that we shouldn’t doubt each other, but why is Remus always away? Where’s he off to? And why won’t he talk to us?”_

_“I don’t know,” Sirius whispered, unwillingly, not wanting to voice any doubts against one of his oldest friends._

_“I mean, I haven’t seen him at all since I moved back to my mum’s,” Peter continued. “I just find it strange, is all.”_

Sirius hadn’t known how to reply to Peter that day, well over a month ago now. Nor had he known how to reply any of the other times they went out drinking together, and he brought up a strange behaviour he’d noticed. Not that he needed Peter pointing them out, anymore. He could see Remus acting oddly plain as day, now that he was looking for it. And it scared him. It scared him that he didn’t know what it meant, it scared him that he was wondering if his best friend could be the spy, could be the one telling Voldemort who was in the Order, where they were. He was scared that he was wondering if Remus was the one who’d told Voldemort where James and Lily’s last home had been, before they were forced to flee.

_“What does it do?” Sirius asked as the witch behind the counter held up a small glass vial, filled with a thick potion. She gave him a pleasant smile._

_“It’s a bit tricky to describe, dear,” She replied, setting the vial down carefully. “You see, it’s very useful when caught between decisions. Makes it easier to see the outcomes, really.”_

_“The danger?”_

_“Well,” The witch folded her hands in front of her neatly, her smile becoming a bit strained. “You only see where your one decision could lead. Don’t know what decisions you have to make after the first one to get to what you see.” Sirius nodded, thinking. Knowing that one decision could be enough._

Looking at the vial sitting in front of him now, Sirius wasn’t even quite sure what the one decision he was hoping to see the outcome of was. He was certain he had one to make, and soon, but he still wasn’t quite sure what it was. He was scared of where the war would lead, how many more people he’d lose. All he knew for certain right now was that he needed to see where the war was headed; he needed to see what could be avoided by his own actions. With that thought in his mind, Sirius uncapped the potion and drank it all at once.

  
  


It was like nothing Sirius had ever seen; too clear to be a dream, yet too hazy to be reality. Sirius was sure, without anyone telling him so, that this was the future; a world yet to come.

_Sirius wept while sitting on the floor in the hallway of the Potter’s house, clutching Harry, trying not to think of the body in the room at the end of the hall, nor the one at the bottom of the stairs._

_He laughed as tears poured down his face, barely registering the charred street before him, the screaming muggles._

_He sat in a cell, cold and menacing, weeping silently as he relived his worst nightmares. The cold would not leave his very bones, and the only light was no comfort, for it was that of the full moon._

_Remus stumbled through the door of a beat up cottage out in the middle of nowhere, barely taking the time to pull off his shoes by the door. He walked through an empty kitchen and headed up the stairs, where he collapsed into a creaking bed without bothering to change his clothes._

_Harry sat in the dark of his cupboard, silently playing with old broken toy soldiers._

_A dark figure hunted the unicorns in the Forbidden Forest, causing the very trees to mourn._

_A basilisk wound its way through the pipes in Hogwarts, thrilled to be hunting the young prey._

_Remus stood in the shrieking shack, looking tired and much too old for his age, staring at the sickly figure he’d not seen in twelve years._

_A flash of green light in a graveyard, and a dead boy beside one who was alive, one who’d already seen too much._

_Sirius fell back into the veil, surprised. Remus held Harry back as he tried to follow him, tears in both of their eyes._

_Dumbledore fell by Snape’s wand, and up went the Dark Mark over the tallest tower at Hogwarts._

_Remus lay on a stretcher in the Great Hall, a young woman just beside him. Neither had a pulse or a breath._

_Harry stood in the Forbidden Forest, surrounded by ghosts who’d left him behind._

Sirius was given no time to recover from the first set of memories -- or times to come? -- before more images began.

_Sirius sat on the floor of the Potter’s house with James, Lily, Harry, and Remus. He could do nothing but hold his family tight._

_He stood at the edge of a graveyard, remembering everyone he’d lost in the war._

_He sat on the couch at the Potter’s, Harry asleep in his lap, Remus on the other side of the couch, reading a book._

_Harry ran to Flourish and Blotts, barely slowing down enough to wrench the door open. Sirius just laughed at him from farther down the street. He stepped inside to discover Harry had already found Remus and was now giving him a giant hug._

_Sirius stood on Platform Nine and three quarters alongside Lily and James, and watched as Remus helped Harry get his trunk aboard. He couldn’t help but smile at the excitement on the boy’s face._

As the real world -- or the present one -- came slowly back into view, Sirius wasn’t quite sure what to think. The first scenario seemed long, and painful, and too short all at once. The second didn’t show many scenes, yet they’d all been peaceful, happy, even. It didn’t take long for him to figure out what choice made the difference; would he trust Remus? Could he? Sirius carefully considered the two timelines -- what he’d seen, all he’d witnessed. He knew his answer. But more than that, the more he considered it all, the more the details fell into place. He thought of the Order members who’d already died or gone missing. He thought of the Potter’s compromised position. He thought of Remus’ spiraling condition, and his weekly pub visits. He thought of his own missions, and he thought of the little boy who he’d die to protect. He thought of the spy in the Order of the Phoenix.

And he knew.


End file.
